A Reoccurring Theme

30 September 2015

Okay, so admittedly it is actually kind of funny that the general topic of this post is very much related to my previous most recent post. Funny to me anyway, because though it was not intentional, it is a topic where I frequently find myself head-to-head. I wrote a little poem today that came from a place of disappoint, of gratitude, and of pleasure. Bizarre mix, I know. Here’s the quick synopsis: after finishing an amazing swim this morning with people of whom I genuinely admire as people in all aspects of personhood, I ran in to someone I have know/who has known me for probably about 12-14 years. During the albeit brief exchange I had with this person, they instantly crashed the morning high I had just earned. How did they do this? A face of judgement. We may have exchanged no more than 30 words in total between the two of us, yet they said and reacted so perfectly as to bring me down because of their negativity and lack of acceptance for a perspective that differed from their own. I don’t dig that. As I got in my car and sat for a moment instantly doubting myself in reaction to her disapproval, I quickly snapped back and realized the importance of positivity and perspective. I feel sorry that this person, amongst others, believe it’s okay to judge one on THEIR actions simply because the actions are not of their own personal norm. Remembering how much I appreciate the opportunities I’ve had because of the choices I’ve made, the places I’ve seen and the people I’ve met that I wouldn’t change for anything, this is what instantly snapped me out of that ever so quick moment out self doubt. I hope you all are able to remember to totally own your choices and be proud of the path you’ve created for yourself. Sometimes I forget this in the midst of constant disapproval but when taking that deep breath and allowing myself to feel joy in the life I’ve created, it is really wonderful. If you forget, I hope you let yourself remember. 

Alright, so quick vent sesh over. Sorry… Didn’t mean to go hippy-preach mode on you, but you get the guist. No judgement, just big smiles, please and thank you. 

Bottom line, I was inspired by this off kilter encounter and so I wrote a little something that went like this (and similar to some of my  previous poems, the format seems to always get funky…just accept it):

Life’s Trip

4000 meticulous miles

98 day old car

5000 

6000

just three months old

where have we been? 

where will we go?

The road is wide, the road is curvaceously long

the wheels turn, but the mind travels

constantly yearning for new dirt beneath my feet 

that’s what sets my pace

the going

a destination is a place you end

so, I have no destination

because I keep going 

my wandering eyes don’t want to stay 

they crave the unseen

my feet move faster than the wheels

their hunger grows in each step

my soul feeds on the structure of daily ambiguity

yet, I have a plan 

that plan is a rest stop

on my road of continued motion

but they see instability

they dare not accept their unknown

and they cannot accept mine

I live for the next adventure

they turn off at the rest stop

my wheels move forward 

the next fantastical place beckons

the next succinct, yet paradoxically momentous, interaction between strangers awaits the alignment of the stars

me and whomever I encounter

life is a journey

it is beautiful unrehearsed experience

a ride on this road is left untaken 

when the unknown hinders your soul

my soul is free

  

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