A Reoccurring Theme

30 September 2015

Okay, so admittedly it is actually kind of funny that the general topic of this post is very much related to my previous most recent post. Funny to me anyway, because though it was not intentional, it is a topic where I frequently find myself head-to-head. I wrote a little poem today that came from a place of disappoint, of gratitude, and of pleasure. Bizarre mix, I know. Here’s the quick synopsis: after finishing an amazing swim this morning with people of whom I genuinely admire as people in all aspects of personhood, I ran in to someone I have know/who has known me for probably about 12-14 years. During the albeit brief exchange I had with this person, they instantly crashed the morning high I had just earned. How did they do this? A face of judgement. We may have exchanged no more than 30 words in total between the two of us, yet they said and reacted so perfectly as to bring me down because of their negativity and lack of acceptance for a perspective that differed from their own. I don’t dig that. As I got in my car and sat for a moment instantly doubting myself in reaction to her disapproval, I quickly snapped back and realized the importance of positivity and perspective. I feel sorry that this person, amongst others, believe it’s okay to judge one on THEIR actions simply because the actions are not of their own personal norm. Remembering how much I appreciate the opportunities I’ve had because of the choices I’ve made, the places I’ve seen and the people I’ve met that I wouldn’t change for anything, this is what instantly snapped me out of that ever so quick moment out self doubt. I hope you all are able to remember to totally own your choices and be proud of the path you’ve created for yourself. Sometimes I forget this in the midst of constant disapproval but when taking that deep breath and allowing myself to feel joy in the life I’ve created, it is really wonderful. If you forget, I hope you let yourself remember. 

Alright, so quick vent sesh over. Sorry… Didn’t mean to go hippy-preach mode on you, but you get the guist. No judgement, just big smiles, please and thank you. 

Bottom line, I was inspired by this off kilter encounter and so I wrote a little something that went like this (and similar to some of my  previous poems, the format seems to always get funky…just accept it):

Life’s Trip

4000 meticulous miles

98 day old car

5000 

6000

just three months old

where have we been? 

where will we go?

The road is wide, the road is curvaceously long

the wheels turn, but the mind travels

constantly yearning for new dirt beneath my feet 

that’s what sets my pace

the going

a destination is a place you end

so, I have no destination

because I keep going 

my wandering eyes don’t want to stay 

they crave the unseen

my feet move faster than the wheels

their hunger grows in each step

my soul feeds on the structure of daily ambiguity

yet, I have a plan 

that plan is a rest stop

on my road of continued motion

but they see instability

they dare not accept their unknown

and they cannot accept mine

I live for the next adventure

they turn off at the rest stop

my wheels move forward 

the next fantastical place beckons

the next succinct, yet paradoxically momentous, interaction between strangers awaits the alignment of the stars

me and whomever I encounter

life is a journey

it is beautiful unrehearsed experience

a ride on this road is left untaken 

when the unknown hinders your soul

my soul is free

  

SCUBA Honduras, Day Six

30 June 2014

Today was fantastic. It was my first day of fun dives and I got to do it with my favorite guys, Andrew, Kevin, Pascal, Tyler, Magellan, Ed, and a few other great people. I’m officially SCUBA Open Water certified! Woohoo… Now I can cruise above and below the surface of our beautiful seas. Stoked. We saw a Moray Eel today too, which was incredible. And when we got back to UDC there was a baby octopus that was living on a small rock on the confined water tarp that I snorkeled around it with Chad.

20140721-091024-33024268.jpg

20140721-091024-33024867.jpg

20140721-091025-33025802.jpg

20140721-091025-33025139.jpg

20140721-091026-33026659.jpg

20140721-091025-33025496.jpg

20140721-091026-33026083.jpg

20140721-091027-33027225.jpg

20140721-091026-33026378.jpg

20140721-091026-33026938.jpg

20140721-091027-33027496.jpg

We all relaxed in the afternoon and readied ourselves for a long (and my last) night. There was a booze cruise around the bay from one of the other dive centers. I went with guys and two other girls from UDC, Brooke and Bea. It was packed! One of my favorite photos from the trip was taken on that little boat ride but isn’t funny how the world works… It accidentally got deleted off my camera later that night. It’s better to have the memory then the proof I guess, huh?

20140721-093119-34279864.jpg

20140721-093120-34280478.jpg

20140721-093121-34281131.jpg

20140721-093120-34280843.jpg

After the booze cruise, the group of us went for Mexican for dinner and Larson, one of the boat captains joined us. He is such a lively person; such great company. There was a huge beach party tonight so we stopped at UDC for a drink with Mary, one of the instructors (who couldn’t be sweeter). The guys didn’t join at UDC – my main guys, Andrew, Kevin, and Pascal – they wanted a little nap before the beach party. On my walk back to the apartment from the dive shop, I made new friends. Now, to give you a bit of perspective, when walking to our little apartment hut you pass a few other homes, essentially walking up and down their driveways and “yards” to weave to ours. Our neighbors toward the front of that walk happened to be outside on my way back. So, naturally while the guys napped, I hung out with those friendly neighbors/locals. They introduced themselves: Mayo, Mason, and the ass hole. Their choice of name, not my dub! And there were a few other nice men there.

20140721-093610-34570339.jpg

20140721-095226-35546271.jpg

20140721-095226-35546005.jpg

20140721-095225-35545742.jpg

20140721-095225-35545445.jpg

Look at these beautiful faces of the guys I live with:

20140721-095728-35848127.jpg

The beach party was such a good time. I introduced myself to a wonderful Canadian that I’d seen the whole week beginning at the Houston airport, but never spoken to. The night never ended – I didn’t go to sleep, rather went directly to the early ferry (with a quick stop to grab my bags from the apartment and to say goodbye to the guys) and had the most delightful company and conversation with Magellan the whole way. We parted ways and I made my way to the second ferry and eventually to the aero puerto.

I made so many amazing friends and have more memories than I could imagine from such a short stay on this eclectic paradise island.

Off to Mississippi to spend a week and a half with my dear friend, Stephanie!

20140721-100637-36397295.jpg

Get out there, world!

SCUBA Honduras, Day Two

24 June 2014

Six am wake up to a sun as bright as mid day, and to the sound of… I’m not really sure what classification of music it would be actually… but our own personal DJ in one of the shacks across Garbage Lake (I just named it that). Here is our humble abode, home to Andrew, Kevin, Pascal, and myself. It’s nice. I stayed here last night with them & will again tonight but may go to the hostel some nights to meet people. We’ll see. Here is the apartment and our incredible view (even better on the other side where there is half a boat and a collapsed “house”):

20140624-091244-33164348.jpg

20140624-091714-33434667.jpg

Andrew and Kevin (from NJ) went on the morning dive so I took a walk to the end of the main road on the island, or at least in this area. There is one main road that goes through the island. I came to the little beach and turned after I took it in for a few minutes. Along the walk I found a wall that said “gaviota,” which some of you know to be my favorite Spanish word. It means seagull though, so I’m not sure why there is a marlin mosaic picture near the word.

20140624-215242-78762622.jpg

20140624-091640-33400293.jpg

20140624-091838-33518975.jpg

When I got back, Pascal and I went for breakfast. We made friends with a cat and enjoyed delicious fresh fruit smoothies.

20140624-092052-33652666.jpg

20140624-092549-33949203.jpg

I hung on the end of the dock at UDC to wait for the group to get back.

20140624-102252-37372345.jpg

There’s a great little coffee shop next to UDC where we relaxed in for a bit. I jumped off the dock, Andrew studied, and a guy named JD from Fla played some guitar. The proceeds of the shop go to promoting education along the rio coco river. Pretty neat.

20140624-164749-60469524.jpg

20140624-164938-60578506.jpg

I read that Utila has an iguana rescue/research center so myself, Andrew, and Pascal went on a little hike to check that out. Andrew and I both got in one of the cages to feed him hibiscus.

20140624-213637-77797406.jpg
(A photo of a photo.)

20140624-165157-60717063.jpg

20140624-165233-60753941.jpg

20140624-165402-60842188.jpg

We also went just a bit further and found one of the highest points on the island with an incredible view.

20140624-214757-78477876.jpg

I finally got started on my dive theory course – watching a movie, reviewing the manual, and answering questions. Andrew, Kevin, Pascal, and I then grabbed a crepe on our way to a bar called Skid Row. Skid Row offers a challenge for a free t-shirt. The challenge consists of four shots of guifity (a traditional homemade rum brew made of twigs and foliage. Each guifity has a different taste based on the area you have it because not all land tastes the same. Anywho, you take three shots consecutively, then spin around in circles ten times, then take a fourth shot, then run around the pool table ten times. So worth the t-shirt! 😉

We got home and had a little grilled queso blanco (YUM) and fresh piña. Then the power went out for like twenty minutes – thank goodness for phones and our headlamps. And so it goes…. Bed time!

Another wonderful day. Goodnight!